The crack in the colorful candy shell.

GIVE ME THE EYE!!!

2009-11-11T16:54:39Z

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

GASP!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

GASP!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Shiny

2009-11-09T23:23:47Z

A friend of mine said to me yesterday that he was concerned that I was going bald because I shave my head.

I told him that it doesn't really matter if I'm going bald because I shave my head.

See there? Logic.

Mmmmmm...Tuuuurkeeeeey.

2009-11-09T00:25:28Z

Early Thanksgiving with friends is always a good time.

I'm just glad Bill and Tim decided they wanted turkey early. :)

So now I am full and happy and ready to play lots and lots of video games.

Go me!

CRAAAAAVE!!!

2009-11-06T15:49:28Z

I really want a peppermint mocha.

I have no idea why.

Academicals

2009-11-04T19:43:05Z

EEE!

I gotted the new Terry Pratchett book today. Yes, I'm slow. Slow and poor. Sue me.

Anyway, I'm still waiting for "I Shall Wear Midnight", Terry. Forget about your brain rebelling against you and give to me the Tiffany Aching novel, please.

kthxbai.

Strange Conversations

2009-11-03T04:39:39Z

As much as I bitch, I do love my family.

I love my family enough to tease them on the internet.

So... I get this call and my phone says it's from my brother. I'm like, cool, my brother's calling. This is new and unexpected.

I pick up the phone and say hello and a strange voice just kind of blurts out "I want a pair of those PJs."

Huh?

Who the hell are you and how do you know about my jammies in MAINE!?! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY BROTHER, YOU BASTARD!?!

I think Ed's going to have to have a conversation with my nephew Andrew about introducing himself on the telephone prior to making jammie demands. Not only that, if he'd like them for Christmas he should probably treat it like a Jeopardy clue and phrase it in the form of a question. Something like, "Uncle Bob, I really like the PJs you wore for Halloween. Would you get me a pair of those jammies for Christmas?"

The good thing about this is now I have something to tease the boy about until he's 90.

Apparently, the other kids would like a pair as well. I sense a lot of money spent on fleece this winter.

I'm SUPER!

2009-11-01T21:43:35Z

I cleared out all 13 of the Dead Hero maps for the Bloodmoon event in Champions today! It actually feels like an accomplishment. I be happy and can now use Celestial powers.

Now to clear out the other 4 parts of the event.

War of the Footie Jammies

2009-10-30T22:50:00Z

For those of you following me on Facebook, you may have noticed that there is a bit of a tug-of-war involving the primary component of my Halloween costume.

Ya see... my giant, spawn-bearing, ready-to-burst little sister really likes the footie jammies I bought to complete my ensemble of "creepy kid". There's a problem, though, because I really like them, too. They's comfy.

But, I felt bad because it felt selfish of me to keep the jammies away from the GSBRTBLS.

So I ordered her her own pair. I can't do stuff like that often, but they were clearance so it wasn't too great a hardship.

My big brotherly duties are done and now a pregnant woman can remain toasty warm in the great, white North of Maine.

And now I can lord the jammies over her when I go home.

Just plain wrong...

2009-10-29T00:35:09Z

Wow.

Wrong Turn 3 is a giant, steaming puddle of unicorn vomit.

I call it "unicorn vomit" because it's so very rare that I find a horror movie that I hate so much I actually turn it off.

This wasn't good bad. It was bad bad.

PAR-TAY!

2009-10-25T16:51:43Z

I love costume parties. The creativity that comes out is kind of mind-blowing.

One thing I've learned over the years is that you can go for sexy or you can go for scary or you can go for cute but you should always go for weather-appropriate. I'm very glad that my costume was what it was. It was COLD last night.

Something I learned last night is that creepy and cute kinda drive guys a little nuts. A thing to remember.

I've also learned that if you don't wear anything UNDER your costume, it's pretty much an open invitation. I don't necessarily have a problem with this. Also? Fleece footie jammies? A little bit of a fetish for some folks.

Here's some pictures from last night.

Darling... HEEHEE!

2009-10-24T06:51:10Z

If you, like myself, have a love of the old Hammer Horror flicks, catch I Sell the Dead.

It's kind of Fearless Vampire Killers-y with a bit of Shawn of the Dead thrown in and it's all cute and kind of steampunk-like. Really, the name says it all in terms of plot. It's got a great cast including Dominic Monaghan and Ron Perlman and it's a ton of ghoulish fun. It almost seems like it would be the perfect movie for Elvira to host. This is family-friendly horror (barring a little bit of language) but in a good way.

I heartily approve.

Now... Saw VI.

BEST DEATH EVER! The franchise is losing a little bit of steam plot-wise. I mean, how long can they really keep this going? Eventually, they're going to run out of people that Jigsaw has even met in passing. It did have a fantastic message about insurance companies, though, and I did thoroughly enjoy it. The twists and turns were all there and it had it's fair share of fish-mouth moments for me. It was also a lot of fun watching the spider-web that Jigsaw laid out start to unravel. I will say that while this one had more than it's share of gore, there wasn't quite so much of the splatter. The traps, while still fantastic and the main reason I watch these movies, are getting... more refined? It doesn't quite fit, I know, and maybe it's because the director is honing his craft, but the gore was almost subdued. Like it was still present but secondary to the horror of the game itself. I appreciated that. As with all of the Saw films, not for the kiddies. Teens might get a kick out of it, though.

OH, and speaking of the kiddies, I'm settling in with my popcorn and a woman ACTUALLY SAT A BABY CARRIER NEXT TO ME!

Bitch, this is SAW! Hire a fucking sitter. If that baby cried, I swear I was ready to fling it behind me like a beach ball at a concert and make the bitch hunt for it. The kid was mercifully silent, though.

Creeeeeeepy...

2009-10-23T21:19:00Z

So, it being a day ending in "y", I'm watching a buttload of horror movies.

The first one today was the remake of It's Alive, which was OK. It could have used a bit more tension and a bit less of Bijou Phillips' baby doll voice. It was CGI-tastic which isn't always a good thing, but it was an OK popcorn flick.

I finally caught Outpost, which was also kind of meh. I didn't really get to pay attention to it, though, and it looks like one of those movies you have to be engrossed in.

Home Movies was kind of awesome in an understated way. Yes, it's filmed like a home movie so it's got a little bit of a Blair Witch vibe to it. It could have been creepier but the fact that the kids don't say a damn thing until 2/3s of the way through makes it kinda chilly. Adrian Pasdar does a decent job as the minister dad. Plus, for the furries out there, he looks cute-ish in a pink bunny suit.

Homecoming, so far is a weak Misery clone. It's OK, but I haven't gotten to the really good stuff, yet, I guess.

Tonight? Saw VI. SQUEEEE!

On the subject of dangerous and cuddly...

2009-10-20T21:57:19Z

I'm watching Being Human, now.

Absolutely stunning. I likes it oodles and bunches.

And Russell Tovey is extra cute. I don't normally go for smooth, but he's lickable.

Thank you, British Watershed. Thank you.

Hmmmmmmm....

2009-10-20T16:02:13Z

In watching Heroes, I caught something...

Ray Park has put on a few pounds.

That makes him dangerous AND cuddly.

Misogynistic Neanderthals

2009-10-19T02:59:37Z

Doghouse.

A pert little cunt of a virus-zombie flick. It's got a hint of 28 Days Later, a dash of The Screwfly Solution, and lovely afterburn of Jack Ketchum's Ladies' Night.

It's not as snappy as Shawn of the Dead, but it makes great use of stereotypes for humor's sake.

Ahh, those British scamps.

I say give it a go.

Some candy'd be dandy, Randy!

2009-10-18T23:13:51Z

Am I the only person in the world that really liked the movie Pandemonium?

Come on! It's Tom Smothers and Paul Reubens and Carol Kane!

The homeless guy with the dirty pillows!

"I hope you're watching Mr Decay, 'cause I'm gonna brush extra hard!"

"I'm gonna be like everybody else! I'm gonna make friends! I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna wear make-up, I'm gonna go out with boys, I'm gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs, and I'm gonna finally get to use my diaphragm!"

"My cookies!"

That movie was comedy gold.

All in the Dysfunctional Family

2009-10-17T04:01:41Z

I went to go see The Stepfather tonight.

Meh.

It's not great. It's not bad. It's not anything.

There's not a huge body count, there's no blood, no gore, the suspense is tossed out the window in the first 5 minutes and the performances, beyond that of Sela Ward who was actually very good as a woman who just wants to find happiness following what appears to be a fairly bitter divorce, just fell flat. Dylan Walsh... there's SO much to work from in this movie and he could have chewed the scenery but he just didn't. I saw glimmers of the OCD in the character that would have fed his need for a perfect family, but he dropped the ball AND left himself wide open for being caught. I found myself WISHING for Terry O'Quinn to show up and smack him around a little for not doing the job right.

Really, and oddly, it was "family-friendly" horror and I just can't play with that and maybe that's why I'm so hard on it. This movie SHOULD have been a hard R and it should have been tricked out Silence of the Lambs style. Instead, it was the Fuzzy Pumper Monster Shop of slasher/thrillers. They didn't even show any decent horror trailers with it. Hell, they showed a trailer for that damn Michael Jackson movie. Granted, that was pretty damn scary.

Frankly, the best part of the movie was the large, black lady sitting next to Oscar who, in stereotypical fashion, would not shut up. There were also the giggling teenagers next to me who were... well... giggling. A lot.

I'm not saying skip it because it's not bad, but I would probably say wait to rent it because it's not great, either.

Jeez, I can't wait for Saw 6.

On the other hand, I also caught Deadgirl today. (I love working from home.)

This was pretty frikkin' brilliant.

It takes some explaining, and I'm not sure if I can do it without spoilers. It's pretty intense for a low-budget semi-supernatural do and it digs into "what would you do if there appeared to be no consequences for your actions and how would you react once you found out that there were". All I can say is that you'll either love it or you'll hate it.

I will say that it's pretty bleak apart from a kinda funny black comedy sequence towards the end. There are no characters that you'll really like and a lot that you'll frankly hate. Even the titular dead girl. For the parents out there, nudity aside, keep the kids away from this one due to subject matter alone.

Catching up...

2009-10-15T19:26:10Z

I'm catching up on Glee.

Coach Whatshername is HILARIOUS!

"Ginger pygmy"...

HILARIOUS!

Ahem...

2009-10-14T20:06:35Z

I'd like to direct your attention here.

That is all.

Novocaine.

2009-10-13T18:18:57Z

I had a filling done, today.

Ya know what I love?

When the dentist tells you not to swallow while he's doing his thing in there.

Only not so much, because it's pretty much not possible.

Oh, Deadpool, you little scamp.

2009-10-12T17:42:17Z

Extras in games are fun. Particularly extras that play up to breaking the 4th wall.

If you're playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, check out the audio log "Deadpool vs VV".

"Paper-and-dice-playing, prom-skipping nerd-hole". Hilarious!

What Big Eyes You Have...

2009-10-10T06:38:02Z

ZOMG!

Trick 'r Treat!

Seriously? It's the new Creepshow. It's THAT FUCKING AWESOME!

Why the FUCK this didn't get a theatrical release is completely friggin' beyond me.

Stoopid Warner.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!

2009-10-10T04:01:48Z

Paranormal Activity.

Not the best horror film ever, but it certainly had it's share of creepy and shocking moments.

It plays like a series of videos taken by a "normal" couple so it's kind of Blair Witch-esque only without the nasal snot bubble. It's also not really Dramamine-worthy, but if you're especially sensitive, you might want to take some.

There were parts that were downright silly and they really could have played up the tension better, but all-in-all it was chilling enough to get a "go see it" from me.

And it's better to see it with a lot of people because screamers are extra fun.

AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

2009-10-08T21:58:07Z

Klaus Nomi's version of The Twist.

No, I will not post a link here.

It's that fucking creepy.

Listening to it I envisioned my soul being sucked out of my body through my ears.

I felt as if nothing would ever be happy again and that Chubby Checker was just a distant glimmer of hope.

People should be playing this instead of Halloween sound effects.

Why, oh, why, does this version of the song EXIST!

OH, and then there's THIS!!!

HAL the computer has NOTHING on making this song creepy like these guys do. I'm scared for Daisy. She's gonna end up chained in a basement wasting away while this sicko rewards her for emptying her chamberpot by letting her ring a damn bell. CALL the FUCKING POLICE!

I Want An Easter Egg!

2009-10-05T18:19:39Z

Yeah, so... for those of you playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2...

Watch the credits after you beat the game.

No, seriously.

It's funny shit.