OK, so I'm sure you all know that I will use any excuse in the world to get into Zombie Drag. This is a given and we just accept it and move on.
NOW, with that being said, my friend Clay (aka Miss Britney Blaire) is kind of just starting out in the drag world, but she's BLOWING UP! I heart her and I'm happy to help her any way I can so when she asked me to be in her Dragapalooza number on Saturday night, I was SUPER-PSYCHED!
Mostly, because her number was the Heads Will Roll/Thriller mash-up from Glee!
So, yeah. There's video, even! It's only the chorus, but we didn't set anyone up in the audience with a camera. I may have to fix that if I'm going to be part of the entourage.
OK, I have to admit that this week's Glee got to me. Not because of the songs, or because of the teenage angst.
It was because of Emma.
Watching Emma in her psych session brought up some painful memories. The doctor, played beautifully by Kathleen Quinlan, was right. Mental illness does have a huge stigma in this country and actually being diagnosed with a mental illness is devastating.
I was reminded of my first session with my psychiatrist. I was describing my problems and letting go of a lot of things that I had held in for a long time and I remember that about ten minutes in I started crying and I couldn't stop. I couldn't speak and I couldn't breathe and I felt shame for who I was and the choices I had made in my life. Granted, it had been that way for a long time already, but to do so in front of a complete stranger is humiliating.
To hear that I suffered from bipolar disorder, a disease that I had denied even the remotest possibility of, crushed me. I accepted it, but with reluctance. With fear, even. With the fear that it would, from then on, rule my life. That I was, officially, crazy.
So, yeah. I'm Crazy Bob. I wish I wasn't, but I am. I had a conversation on Facebook with a friend about labels and how stating that if you were against labels you were denying your own self-worth. I don't believe that. Personally, labels are just a means of stereotyping people. I know that they're there, but, as previously stated, one of my labels is "Crazy". It's a label I'm not proud of and one that scares people that don't know me. It's one that encourages the stigma of mental illness.
And in defiance of that label, I now have a means to control my illness and maybe, just maybe, I'm not as crazy as people think I am. And, maybe, in the process of controlling my brain chemistry, I can do something about that stigma.
As you all know, this weekend was Bearvillities and it was AWESOME! Tim and Bill outdid themselves this year.
This year was "my year" because there's nothing I like better than cartoons. And because it was "my year", I ended up in a LOT of numbers but, despite that, the show was AMAZING! :D
Scott designed the set to look like a giant TV with a functioning scrim so that we could show videos on it and use it as a curtain as well as a giant box of cereal (with bowl) and a carton of milk. It was all hand painted and looked phenomenal. People thought it was printed. My husband is great at what he does.
I was asked what the double meaning was in terms of glitter in pop songs, particularly involving Ke-dollar sign-ha.
This was my response.
"Glitter is just a gateway craft product for young girls and pop musicians like to hook them young and lead them down the rhinestone and swarovski path to ruin, eventually graduating to actual gemstones wherein they will kill and/or marry for a fix and die, friendless and broke, in a sparkly, sparkly gutter."